The Round Pen

 

 

 

This is a picture of our round pen.  We use it for riding, pony rides for camp and training our horses.  Sometimes even the horses who have been broke for many years need a trip to the round pen because they've gotten lazy or just need a little fine tuning in their attitude.  The round pen shows the trainer the character of the horse, its fears and its strong points.  The trainer can find the hidden buttons, do a little pushing and work out the fears and lies that create those buttons.  Even horses have buttons that can be pushed! 

 

I was never a horse person. I didn't grow up around horses, didn't spend weekends at a ranch and I didn't dream of having my own one day.  I liked them but from a distance.  Once or twice I went on a trail ride.  I even dated a guy that went to school to be a farrier but didn't really get into horses during the time we dated.  Fast forward to our move to South Dakota.  Suddenly my husband and I wanted horses.  I can't tell you why.  Perhaps it was just that we were now living in the wild west and we just felt like the addition of horses would complete our western experience.  Whatever the reason, we got horses.  Well, technically they were ponies.  Our first herd was a bunch of ponies and minis!  The one pony we own now, Dakota, is the only pony left from that first little herd.  The others were sold off one by one as we got braver and purchased horses.  Big, full sized, with-a-mind-of-their-own horses!  Here's Dakota and I from several years ago, probably not long after we got her.

 

 

 

The Lord has put people in our lives that have helped us in our journey with building a youth camp in South Dakota and He was just as wonderful about putting horse people along our path too.  First a good friend of ours went into horse ministry and spent time with our family training us in the round pen.  Then our son met and married a young woman who was raised around horses and caring for them was second nature for her.  We've had others along the way show us whatever we've needed to learn and we've managed to not only keep our horses alive but we've added an equine program to our camp, our daughters are now intermediate riders and our son enjoys round penning along with his wife who has trained and broke a horse or two of her own! 

 

So the point of all that background was to share with you, the reader, how God has used the round pen in my life in not only a practical way for working with horses but also in a spiritual manner to train me.  You see, we are all in the round pen.  We all have buttons, bad habits, stubborn sides and we all buck, kick and bite to get our own way.  Welcome to the round pen!

 

First you need to understand how the round pen works.  As its name implies, it's round.  No corners prevents horses from finding a place to stick their noses with their hind ends facing you and putting you in a dangerous position.  When the gate is closed there is no where to go but around.  And around and around.  Some horses keep just going around and around.  The trainer stands in the center.  The trainer is the center of the horse's world.  Well, not quite yet but eventually the hope is to become the center of the horse's world!  Sound familiar?  Our trainer, our master, should be the center of our world but we don't always make Him the center do we?  And we run around and around and around looking for the way out, the loop hole.  We want to find our friends, our stuff, our job, whatever we can to distract us from the center of the round pen.  We think, "He must want something from me so I'm just going to focus on what's on the outside of this round pen.  Maybe He'll go away!"  Any good trainer does not go away.  A good trainer, or a good master, stays and builds a relationship with the one that is in the round pen with them.  He sees our potential and is willing to allow us to run in circles for a bit in order to finally accomplish His good will in us. 

 

If you've ever had the joy of watching a round pen demonstration then you know that things can be difficult.  Horses run, jump, buck, kick or simply just keep running and it can be exhausting for the trainer but the master of our round pen never grows weary.  He never sleeps.  Eventually the goal is to accomplish a few goals; perhaps the trainer can get the horse to stop and rest.  Then maybe the horse, with the correct body language of the trainer, will turn out.  Then maybe the trainer can communicate to the horse to turn in.  Finally perhaps the horse will stop, give the trainer both eyes and even allow the trainer to come close and pet its neck or muzzle.  Of course the training doesn't stop there but that's a start.  It's about building a relationship, gaining trust and learning to listen to one another.  A good trainer asks the horse to make the choice to follow him.  The horse is given the choice.  There are consequences to not choosing wisely but there is never punishment or abuse.  Just correction in love.  Round penning is a process and it's never complete.  There is always work to do, new obstacles to overcome but a good trainer doesn't mind that he has to spend time with his horse.  He knows that it will benefit both him and the animal that he has trained.  The payoff will be when he's in the saddle, spending time with his friend with whom he's built mutual admiration and respect. 

 

I hope this gives you a better understanding of the round pen and how our lives can seem like a round pen.  It can seem that we are endlessly running in circles, getting nowhere fast and learning nothing.  The key is to listen to the master in the center and take rest.  When both our eyes are on Him, we can shut out the world around us and hear His voice.  He is asking us to rest.  His burden is light and He offers rest for the weary.  He bids us, "come".  Join me in the round pen. 

 

Matthew 11:28-29 “…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

 

Thanks for joining me in the round pen!  Be sure to stay tuned as I share more of my own adventures with the Master!

 

 



 



Cats and Dogs

Have you ever thought to yourself or perhaps even said out loud to your dog, "I wish you were a cat!"  Maybe you have in a moment of irritation wished that your dog were a cat but you know that a dog can never be turned into a cat!  Wish all you want, it's not possible.  So perhaps you can train your dog to act like a cat!  The dog can behave like a cat all day long but the dog is still not a cat.  It's only acting like a cat.  

Now, say instead of wanting your dog to be a cat, you just want your dog to behave better?  So what do you do?  You train your dog.  You can train dogs any number of ways; beat him into submission, reward with treats or you can actually form a relationship with your dog, spending time with him and win his heart so that his behavior is a result of his desire to please you rather than receive something from you or avoid being hurt by you.  

What if it's not your dog though?  What if it's a person?  Do you ever look at another person and wish they were more like you?  Or more like 'so and so'?  If they'd only quit talking, complaining, etc. I'd be happier with them as my friend, co-worker, family member etc.  Well, wanting to change a person into something you desire is a bit like trying to change a dog into a cat by wishing it were so.  Impossible!  You can no more change another human being because you want it than you can change any other situation that you don't like!  When it's raining can you make the sun come out?  If you want your roses to bloom can you make them?  These are things out of our control.  But what do you do when you wish that person were someone other than who they are?  

1) Admit that they are out of your control.  Let it go.  It's out of your control and your expectations do nothing but make you bitter and others avoid you because of your bitterness.
 

2) Like training your dog you can't 'beat' another person to behave the way you wish and you cannot reward them.  Well, you can but it won't be a lasting solution and it is certainly not God's way of dealing with people who we struggle to get along with.  So, you may want to try to actually develop a healthy relationship with that person.  Notice I said healthy.  Healthy relationships contain boundaries; dos and don'ts that we all have whether we communicate them or not.  A healthy relationship contains mutual respect of each others boundaries and both parties are able to safely communicate those boundaries with no fear of punishment.  So this means that you can safely communicate to the person you are in relationship with concerning those things that might be causing harm to your relationship.  Example: perhaps you have a friend that gossips and you're not comfortable with it.  A healthy relationship allows you to lovingly say to your friend that you enjoy your conversations but notice at times that they wander into talking about others in a way that you're not comfortable with so could those things be avoided from now on?  If your friend overreacts or takes offense see it as a sign of an unhealthy part of your relationship with them or perhaps immaturity on their part.  Pray for that friend and consider changing the nature of your friendship.  An unhealthy friendship cannot be an intimate friendship.  
 

3) Allowing others to be who they are means that you can be comfortable with whatever they do, say or feel because it has nothing to do with you.  Other people's behavior has to do with them, it has nothing to do with you.  People behave the way they do out of their own beliefs about themselves, God and others.  Those beliefs can be based on truth or lies.  If you find you cannot have a healthy relationship with them because of their behavior or beliefs then walk away and let them be who they are without you.  You either accept them as they are and remain in relationship with them or walk away and accept them as they are from a distance. 
 

4) Pray for them.  You can't really know what's going on in their heart and what God might be doing in them.  You may see something on the surface but not see what is in the depths.  Only God sees in the depths and only He can change a person's heart.  Prayer is the most effective tool that you have to use in a difficult relationship. 

In  Matthew 7:1-5 God's word says:  Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

The only person you can control is yourself and that comes from the Holy Spirit because Galatians 5:22 tells us that self control is one of the 9 fruits of the Spirit.  If you walk in the flesh you will have behavior control but not true self control.  Self control comes from God's spirit.  True change comes from God alone who makes us a new creation when we are saved by Him.  We can't even change ourselves so it really should be common sense that we can change no one else.  

(Originally written over a year ago but I never published it.  I thought I'd go ahead and do so today.)